Is this a vision?

No! I am indeed living

So, where is the presence of life?

I shall just head back to dining with death


As I wake

I feel sick knowing I have to go to work

My hate towards it grows each day

I seek the provision of satisfaction here

yet it heals me not


so again

I am awake dreading to brush my teeth

And take a shower

Knowing I will be dirty any time soon


I pick out an outfit

That isn’t the cleanest

But clean enough

To know I fit into

A place I know I should not be

Yet accepted I seem to be


I head out

Prepare myself for work

A work I placed myself at

Knowing I can get out

Yet convince myself there is no point

For I have no other place to go to

But then again am I really ready to leave?


Entering work to already be dirty

Not even done anything

But walked in I did

And drenched in death I became

Here I am, I stand

Watched and stared

Time to get to work


Darkness is here

So turn on the spotlight they did

Here I am unable to see anyone

But bright enough so they can see me


Thrown objects towards me

I was told that is their appreciation of me

So I begin my night job

Of stripping off


My clothes come off

To see my nakedness

Here I am surrounded

Where sympathy

Or pity is taking upon me

But pleasure over my hurt


My scars screams

but they drown it out with their cheers

I dare not tear up for my soul is dying out

Freedom I was offered

Caged up I have become


Fine cloth I was offered but

Dirt I sleep in

Thirsty I become

Blood of hate they offered me


The very face I have on

Is only but a mask

I am to wear

Such image I have

Yet closed up it has become


Escape I dare not do

For there is no exit for me

I shall indeed just stay put


Hidden privilege of grace

Clothed in useless garment

Comfortably clothed in emptiness


Reached a point to seek death

Yet not achieve it

Live ever so much in pain

Who will save me?

My employers reading my mind

Of me seeking to flee

So I stay ever more silent


Bruise I received

I ask again

Who will save me?


I am sick daily

My only option

Is only death

Death where are you?

For I am ready


I want to believe in one

Who will that one be

How I seek help

Yet death I live in

So if no help seeks me

Death please let me dine with your forever more


I have witnessed life

Yet never allowed to live it

So this death I dwell in daily

I will learn to accept it



Here I am in the stage seeking help

But dwelling in such thoughts

Why do I deserve help?

Eyes sees nothing but darkness

Though I have seen a glimpse of light from others

A light they chase after that seems to give life

Yet they dare not approach me

As they look away from me

I must be hideous for them to not approach me

And allow me to know this light they are after


Here’s my sideway smile

To deceive myself

Just so I can continue to be living

Yet I am only dying


As you see me under this spot light

Everyday I work under this spotlight

Hoping and silently screaming

Help me! Help me!

For I am sick everyday


Here I am tired

Of dwelling in this lonely place

For satisfaction

With this big size void

Who can satisfy my soul?

Who can satisfy my soul?


I wish to not walk in this straight line of death

Where is the heart of my father?

I seek to be restored to the innocence of truth

Satisfy my soul

Who shall that be?


Can you see me from the back?


by Hakeem Tobi Ajadi








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