Here I Am

new poetry i am grateful to share, may it bless someone, enjoy and peace

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soul in a cave

 

Before your days are over

Before your body seeks to wither away back to the very dust it came from

Before I fly to the destination you set for me

 

I dare to speak

And you listen intently

For this is the day and this day alone

 

I am the very being that allows you to go into deep tears without knowing

I am the very being that is lost when you dare to not tend to me

I am the very being that calls out yet you ignore

 

Why am being left in the dark nights

As I seek light

You leave me blind

To be used by the very Spirit you invite

To play with me

Holding me hostage

I force feeding me death

Such death I consume

While you assume to live a life that only leads to death

As I am living in you

You have become a living dead

 

I just can’t do it

I just can’t live without satisfaction

And I certainly incapable of satisfying myself

I plead with tears of Blood to live

How you constantly stay deaf to my words

Of life I seek to live

 

Where is my freedom I seek to live

Yet with your living I am still in bondage

Are you not my farmer?

Am I not your  plant?

 

Am I not supposed to be filled with Beauty, Splendor, Wonder and magnificence?

How you rush me with your constant movement

With your constant craving for death

Disguised as life

How I am so hurried to catch up to you

I see the very beauty of such easy yoke

I pass by constantly

 

How you keep me hidden

Do you not know how much of creation I am to be with you?

Am I not deserving to survive and live?

 

I have never been hard to understand and love

That dies when you leave me in darkness

I am the very being that is sick

When you drink the wine of death

I am the very being lost

When you run without looking back

 

How can I live in kingdom deigned for me?

Every time you hurry me

I am in need to be nurtured and healed

How I hold my hand out

To cling onto life

Yet you offer death

How sick it is

That I am being held as prison in the very home I am being placed in

 

A hotel for the Holy Spirit to dwell in

Yet I am placed in a dungeon

Under a hotel

Renting out to spirits of destruction

They keep me hidden

Yet you do nothing

They keep me caged

Yet you stay blind

I try to shout to you

Yet you allow them

To take away your ears to listen

 

Caged up beaten up

By my two main enemies

How can no coexist with Sin

So you replaced me for death

With my other enemy mocking me

Your troublesome thoughts

Leaving God out of the equation

I am lost with connection of peace and grace with Him

 

God did not plant death in the human heart.

Death came because of sin.

Your self-sufficiency can’t get you out of this one.

Your hope don’t to not be that is eternal,

Then you dwell not on a real hope at all.

But God made a way.

 

 

The more I am without a centre

I am but house designed over a sinkhole

Collapsed I have become

Daily I sigh

How I seek my centre that is the Lord

Weak I am

Please lift me up to be nurtured and healed

I know I had a Father

I believe I still have a father

He seems so distant now

How heavenly he was

Well, I mean He is

But falling apart from him I have become

 

Now alone I have become

With my pain, fear, and anxiety

Without the ever care and presence

Of this Heavenly Father I am distant with

I will continue to collapse

 

I seek to be saved

I can be saved.

But it will take softness and depth and space

The world won’t help much.

 

I have been watching.

I am shy, terribly shy, even in the most boisterous person.

I can only whisper, never shout. You seem to never notice me.

But I am here waiting.

I do not lie on the surface. If you had looked and listened, patiently, you would have known.

 

I speak through your confusion, through your wanting, through your hurt.

When you stammer, when you say what you did not mean to say, it was I.

When you watch a sunset, or hear a child laugh, or listen to a piece of music that causes you to suddenly become choked up, it is I that causes your eye to fill. When you are addicted, it is I that is chained.

 

When the sun burns up and the universe melts away, I will be here.

Like Glenn Close in the movie Fatal Attraction, I will not be ignored.

I can be wounded, lost, repulsed, or redeemed. Your circumstances actually matter far less to your happiness than you think. It is my health that makes your life heaven or hell.

I am your soul. I am here

 

Will you dare listen to me?

Because I am your soul

Without me

You are only dying away

 

By Hakeem Tobi Ajadi

 

I would love to recommend a book called; “Soul Keeping”

There was a huge amount of writing I was able to acquire from it but I would like to share some writings with you below.

A rested soul is the easy yoke

Our soul exist to integrate our lives so that we can live in harmony with God and the world. When your soul is at rest, your will is undivided and obeys God with Joy. Your mind has thoughts of truth and beauty. You desire what is wholesome and good.

 

Our soul is like a stream of water, which gives strength, direction, and harmony to every other area of our life. when that stream is as it should be, we are constantly refreshed and exuberant in all we do, because our soul itself is then profusely rooted in the vastness of God and his kingdom, including nature; and all else within us is enlivened and directed by that stream. Therefore we are in harmony with God, reality, and the rest of human nature at large- Dallas Willard

A soul without a centre lacks patience. The soul craves to be safe. We cannot stop the craving nor provide the safety. But there is a nest: “have mercy on me, my God… For in you I take refuge in the shadow of your wings…”

The soul seeks the mighty one as though he is the souls own home, as though it can only be at home with him. The soul is hidden in Gods creating hand: ‘in his hand is the soul of every living thing’ (job 12:10. The opposite of living in faithful dependence on God is to lift your soul up in pride. The person who can live in God’s presence is the one who has not lifted their soul up to an idol.

When my soul is not centered in God, I define myself by my accomplishments, or my physical appearance, or my title, or my important friends, when I lose these, I lose my identity. A soul without a center is like a house built over a sinkhole. “How collapsed you are my soul, and how you sigh over me.” On the other hand, the soul comes alive when it is centered on God.

 

Your soul will never find rest unless it finds its home. We find it in the simple daily discipline of asking ourselves, “is God here in this moment?” if he is not, he can be. Acknowledge that you have tried once again to live life alone and then welcome Him back. Go back to the last scene where you were so joyfully filled with His presence, and then continue the journey. God invites you to let your soul rest in him. For Jesus, identity and acceptance come before achievement and ministry. This is joy no one can take away. You cannot earn acceptance.

 

Scriptures

Ezekiel 18:4

Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.

Genesis 2:7

And the Lord God formed the man of dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living soul.

Matthew 22:37

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind.

Matthew 16:26

For what is a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?